Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Valentines day jokes

Dear readers

 For some of you I know it is very busy and you just can't wait for the weekends to come, and we are halfway there! so here is some fun jokes, sayings and stories to cheer you up and get you through the rest of your week, all are valentines/love related and some may even be good enough to put in our cards!

Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.

Q: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
A: Because he wanted sweet dreams.

Q. What did one volcano say to the other?
A. I lava you.

Q: What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
A: Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A: I find you very attractive.

Q. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
A. Let me call you Tweet heart!

Q: Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A: Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?
A: I dot my i's on you!

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, and ws discussing his needs with the jeweler at Tiffany's.
The jeweler inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'
The jeweler smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.

Love is not blind; it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots

"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties

This is probably inopropriate for a card but I thought it was funny and had to share
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Roses are red violets are blue, don't kiss me once just make it a few.

I'm a great artist, I've painted you on the wall of my heart, I love you with all of my art.

A kiss is something you cannot give without taking & cannot take without giving.

I could go on and on LOL there is so many funny ones out there but these were my favorites.
Enjoy the weekend is near!
Hannah and the DCD Design team.



Cindy C. said...

Thanks so much for sharing Hannah! I really enjoyed it!!

Arlene said...

LOVE your Valentine jokes.